I thought I’d share some thoughts with you after getting crabbed at by folks up this way. You may not know this, but dad seems terrified that I won’t find another girlfriend, much less another wife, if I don’t stop driving “that d@*!#d old pickup truck everywhere”. Same thing with regard to my bicycle. I think he might be starting to get the idea.
Here for your consideration is what I’ve been sharing with folks on the topic of women and bicycles lately:
I got a bicycle so I can slow down, not race. And I want my pulse to do the same….slow down, not race. I want to see every tree I pass, not race by it in a blur. I want to see every blade of grass and every bug on it. If I’m really feeling crappy, I might even want to stop and follow that bug for a while, just because I can.
I paid for this bicycle once, and only once.
I never have to pay for it again.
I can ride it anytime I want.
I can ride it anywhere I want.
I can ride it as long as I want.
I can ride it as slow as I want….nobody whining “What’s taking you so long?”
The more time I spend with my bicycle the more my blood pressure drops.
If something goes wrong it’s a cheap and easy fix.
If I can’t fix it, the bike shop can. Still cheap and easy.
If I get tired of my bike, I can get rid of it and/or get a newer model and nobody will have a crisis over it.
Now then….have you ever met any women about which you can say any of the above? As we all know, if something goes wrong with a woman….you’re just screwed. Turn it over to Jesus or else. Seriously. I’m not kidding on this one.
That part about paying for my bike only once? Try that with any woman. You’ll pay and pay and then you’ll keep paying, over and over again for the rest of your life. There is nothing cheap or simple about women, and you can’t even fix them. In fact, if something goes wrong with any woman, you’ll probably get blamed for it. I can guarantee you’ll be blamed if you try to “fix” them.
Knowing the above, what can I do with a woman that I can’t do without one? Now, don’t go running out to clog the divorce courts, guys. Just get yourself a bicycle and ride. Feel the peace and serenity….
73 de Mike
P.S. : I thought it only fair to share a view from a woman’s perspective, so here’s what some early feminists had to say:
“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.”
~ Ann Strong, Minneapolis Tribune, 1895.
“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And (unlike subsequent inventions for man’s convenience) the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man’s brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle.”
~Elizabeth Howard West